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hurricane deflecter

This topic can be found at:
http://boards.diynetwork.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/9321916776/m/4943976967

Apr 12, 2013, 02:42 PM
nona
hurricane deflecter
so, after watching the devastation caused by hurricane
sandy, ( also the name of my ex daughter-in -law, who had a temperament that could knock down trees also ) I decided to invent something that the Chinese might not think of. TA-DA "a hurricane deflector. "
It essentially is a scoop shaped device, something like a snow plow shape (whatever a snow plow is ) but larger. It would be deployed along the coastline and as the wind comes ashore, it would meet the deflector, scoop it and because of its shape, send it back to wherever it came from
Now I need funds to develop and market the device. I can guarantee that for every $100,000,000 invested, you will receive $1,000,000,000,000,000,.49 in nona bucks

This message has been edited. Last edited by: nona,
Apr 12, 2013, 04:26 PM
swschrad
I have a plan also. ship old singlewide trailers to Cuba. they get sorta-housing until the things attract every hurricane in the hemisphere, and hold them as they deteriorate into random tornadoes.

or Haiti, or the Turks and Caicos, or whichever other Caribbean nation does not pay up first to keep the trailers out.

call 1-800-YOU-FOOL now with your donations, I have the helicopters spooling up....

{ continuing the jokes }


sig: if this is a new economy, how come they still want my old-fashioned money?
Apr 12, 2013, 04:35 PM
GardenSprite
Nona, you can certainly count me in. I could retire on the guaranteed income and spend the rest of my life in my garden. Goodbye bosses and pantyhose.

If you could convince your ex-daughter-in-law to do some big time huffing and puffing you could save on your R & D and start-up costs.


Swschrad, maybe you could convince the Big Banks to donate all the foreclosed trailers and save yourself the cost of acquiring trailers. I'm sure they'd be glad to get rid of them if they could figure out a way to get a credit or write-off against their mortgage liabilities.

(Putting on my thinking cap to think up more suggestions. Back later after a few nips into the chocolate stash.)
Apr 12, 2013, 05:55 PM
Jaybee
Nona, Nona, Nona.....if only you had included a real link then you could have been considered a real spammer. Big Grin


Jaybee
Apr 12, 2013, 05:58 PM
nona
What's spam? I'm kosher
Apr 12, 2013, 08:13 PM
GardenSprite
Nona, Jaybee has an excellent suggestion. You must create a website which advertises your hurricane deflector (as well as your sunshine removal service). Be sure to ask for donations for your worthy cause.

If you have to, hire a Beltway Bandit firm to create a real sob story pitch.

Then post about 20 posts with pitches for your services. Start here, then go to HGTV. Be sure to include your link.

Keep doing this to see how much you can raise and if you can beat the real spammers.

Making all this money would be worth changing your religion, wouldn't it?

We'd be so proud of you - our own homegrown spammer!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: GardenSprite,
Apr 13, 2013, 07:32 AM
joecaption
Thanks but no thanks. I'm going to stick with my own idea.
I stand in the yard tossing ice cubes up into the air.
The cold causes the storm to just blow out.
It cheaper then all that shipping of trailers.
Only draw back is my neighbors are trying to get me commeted because every time a thunderstorm rolls through I'm out there throwing ice cubes in the air.


joecaption
Apr 13, 2013, 11:13 AM
Conrad
joe? Curious, but am I right in assuming you drink the alcohol prior to tossing the cubes? Otherwise...well such a waste.
Apr 13, 2013, 02:52 PM
joecaption
I have a rule, only drink on days ending in Y.


joecaption
Apr 13, 2013, 05:12 PM
GardenSprite
Well, this explains the strange phenomena reported by scientists in Joe's area. Reports are that birds, small animals and wildfowl have been behaving erratically after thunderstorms.

Testing revealed alcohol in their systems as well as crystals reflecting the water had at one time been frozen. Thus far no one's been able to figure out where these alcoholic ice cubes came from, other than the possibility of partying college students.

Don't worry, Joe, we won't report you. We've got your back.

And since you only drink on days ending in Y, your consumption shouldn't be a problem. Oh, wait, that's every day, isn't it?


Nona, looks like Swschrad and Joe are going to present a challenge to your hurricane deflector idea. This is what you can do. Redirect the start-up funds for R & D and manufacture of your deflector to an angel fund which invests in Swschrad's trailers and Joe's ice cube solution. (He must have a giant ice maker to produce all those ice cubes.)

Gradually accumulate a majority of stock in each of their companies. Maybe you can get some of the spammers who are getting rich on all the hits from their spam to invest as silent partners. But be sure to control their shares; get them to invest as nominees.

Make sure Swschrad's and Joe's solutions get a lot of great publicity, and post information on their companies on all the DIY forums. (Then you'll almost be a true spammer!).

Plan for a big splashy IPO. When they go public, be sure to release some very negative publicity in the form of impressive scientific data with lots of hard to understand conclusions so the IPO price will tank.

Swschrad and Joe will be at your mercy and you can swoop in and acquire both companies, then put thousands of people out of work by shutting down their operations. That's the way the pros would do it. You'll be a gen-u-ine takeover artist.

Another upside is that you'll also inherit all of Joe's liquor stash. And his neighbors will love you.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: GardenSprite,
Apr 13, 2013, 05:29 PM
joecaption
Oh not not my liquor!!!!!!!!!!!!
My dad used to live in an area where once in a while used to flood.
The duce and a half fire truck rolls up to the door and ask if there's anything he needs since he could not get out of the yard.
He yells out, a cartion of cigarettes and another 1/2 gal. of coffee of brandy or I'm going to kill my wife.


joecaption
Apr 13, 2013, 05:54 PM
GardenSprite
Joe, I certainly wouldn't want you to suffer. I'd be glad to give you my supply of wine as I no longer drink, but you must promise not to put it in ice cubes.

That's quite a tale about your father and his liquor and cigarettes! Thanks for the laughs.