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a great loss

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Jan 08, 2014, 02:33 AM
a great loss
A obituary printed in the london times....

**day we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sence, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when ** come in out of the rain;
why the early bird gets the worm;
life isn't always fair;
and, maybe it was my fault.

Common Sence lived by simple, sound financial policies [dont spend more than you can earn] and reliable strategies [adults, not children, are in charge]

His health began ** deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6 year old boy charged with sexual harrassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sence lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed ** do in disciplining their unruly children.

it declined even further when schools were required ** get parental consent ** admnister sun lotion or an aspirin ** a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted ** have an ********.

Common Sence lost the will ** live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their vic**ms.

Common Sence finally gave up the will ** live, after a woman failed ** realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. she spilled a litle in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common SEnce was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, discretion, by his daughter, responsibility, and his son, Reason.

he is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I know My rights
I want it now
Someone else is ** blame
I'm a vic**m

Not many intended his funeral because so few realised he was gone*****?v=vn7bkncf1_E
Jan 08, 2014, 02:35 AM
why is the site screening out the letters "two oh" whats all spammy about the word two?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Frodo,*****?v=vn7bkncf1_E
Jan 08, 2014, 10:30 AM
Frodo, must be part of the new spam rules set in place, but I don't know why specifically that word was chosen. It's not an offensive one, but perhaps DIY did some screening and found it appeared frequently in conjunction with other spammy words.

Now, on t-o the obituary - thanks for sharing what some of us older folks have been thinking for awhile. I think t_h_e_r_e's another stepbrother, though...perhaps even two. I think their names are:

The government should take care of me.
I shouldn't have t_o support myself.

I've heard t-h-e-r-e might be another one named:

I have a right t-o use my cellphone and text while driving.

Edited t-o replace two commonly used words which were blocked:

t-h-e-r-e and t-o

This message has been edited. Last edited by: GardenSprite,
Jan 13, 2014, 09:21 PM
ooh, cuss words! I need t.o reprogram my computer so it beeps when it sees a string of asterisks..

sig: if this is a new economy, how come they still want my old-fashioned money?
Jan 13, 2014, 09:25 PM
while we're at it, another eulogy:

Dear friends,
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join
me in remembering a great icon.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Cap'n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- time
friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he -- even
still, as a crusty old man -- was considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 350 for about twenty minutes.

sig: if this is a new economy, how come they still want my old-fashioned money?
Jan 15, 2014, 07:34 PM